The Value of a Good Bed Partner for Better Sleep

Good sleep is crucial for maintaining human health. Sleep studies have confirmed that poor sleep increases the risk of obesity, cardiovascular diseases, cancer, accidents, and increased mortality. Sleep is usually studied on an individual basis; however, it is now recognized that bed partners, and the nature of their relationship, have a significant impact on sleep quality.

Positive relationships between couples may improve sleep by reducing loneliness, negative moods, and stress, whereas negative couple relationships might impair sleep quality by inducing depression and anxiety. How couples share their time prior to sleeping — such as exercising, alcohol or drug use — and consistent bedtimes, can also influence sleep quality.

The association between couple relationships and sleep has been extensively investigated, yet the results have not always been consistent. To address these inconsistencies, a recent systematic review and meta-analysis of published studies comprehensively and quantitatively examined the association between couple relationships and sleep.

Overall, the analyses confirmed that higher levels of partner responsiveness, closeness, and self-disclosure were linked with self-reported better sleep, while increased partner conflict and perceptions of rejection were associated with worse sleep. There was a statistical link between increased partner conflict and poorer sleep. These findings can be understood by assuming that individuals in a healthy committed relationship are more likely to receive enhanced emotional support, thereby mitigating the detrimental impact of stress on psychological well-being and promoting optimal sleep quality. [For more on what is optimal sleep, go here.]

Having a responsive partner who provides care, understanding, and appreciation may improve sleep by reducing the likelihood of experiencing anxious arousal and depression. Partner responsiveness can foster feelings of security and intimacy, particularly for individuals with an anxious attachment style, thereby reducing loneliness and negative emotions while increasing positive emotions. All these factors are crucial for promoting a good night’s sleep. The studies also discovered that increased disclosure of feelings to their sleep partners yielded notable sleep-related benefits. Why? The authors concluded that sharing feelings with partners helps alleviate negative moods associated with lower subjective sleep quality and increased nocturnal awakening.

Given these conclusions, it is not surprising that increased partner conflict was related to worse sleep quality, prolonged sleep latency, and increased wake episodes. Conflicts between bed partners trigger persistent rumination, anxiety, and hostility that are associated with vigilance and hyper-arousal, resulting in delayed sleep onset and disrupted sleep continuity.

In the subgroup analysis of the published data, the authors observed a significant association between better couple relationship quality and better sleep quality in males as compared to females. There are many possible reasons for this association. Many of the women in the studies were postpartum, and their sleep quality was affected by physical symptoms and the sleep status of their babies.

However, as compared with men, who tend to be more reliant on spouses for emotional support, women receive higher levels of support from additional family members and friends, which may mitigate the negative impact of sleeping with a man. Additional analyses of the available data found that the link between sleep quality and sleep partner relationship was exclusively found among couples younger than 30 years. Individuals in this age group often experience relatively shorter-term relationships and exhibit heightened sensitivity towards any changes related to their partners or romantic relationships. Data from the younger subjects differs when compared with middle-aged populations who are often heavily occupied with work and parenting responsibilities.

In summary, evidence obtained from 43,860 subjects across numerous studies showed that better couple relationships were associated with better sleep. Both enhanced partner responsiveness and intimacy are beneficial for overall sleep quality. Reducing partner conflicts may increase sleep duration, shorten sleep latency, and promote sleep continuity, while increasing disclosure of feelings to partners may improve sleep efficiency. The adage “don’t go to bed angry” still holds true.